Roxianne “Roxi” Gayle Downing, 73, of Okoboji and Ankeny, Iowa, passed away on December 4, 2024, at her home in West Okoboji, surrounded by family.
Roxi the Daughter and Sister
Roxi was born on January 6, 1951, to Eldon H. Staker and Doris E. (Moeller) Staker in Des Moines, Iowa. Her father passed away seven months after she was born, so for most of her childhood she was raised by her mother, Doris. As a child, Roxi and her older brother Mike, spent time with their grandparents, Herbert H. and Esther (Hamann) Moeller “on the farm” near Gladbrook. The farm, along with time spent with grandparents and her cousins, was something she warmly recalled. As an adult, she made frequent trips from Des Moines to Marshalltown along with her mother and children to visit Grandma Esther who had since moved to Marshalltown. Those Sundays were filled with special German lunches, reminiscing, checkers games, visits to other relatives in the area, and Esther doling out German slang lessons to her great-grandchildren.
Roxi had five siblings, older brother Mike and four younger siblings, Richard Collette (Diane), Reggie Collette (Lisa), Colleen Huber (Jerry), and Dawn Young (Aaron) who were born after her mother married Richard E. Collette. Family Thanksgiving gatherings, Christmases, birthdays, showers, and weddings were always something she enjoyed.
Roxi graduated from East High School in Des Moines, Iowa,in 1969,where she was involved in student government and the Steppers Dance Team. During this time, she lived with and was a nanny for Sunny Hatfield and her daughters. Sunny became a trusted life-long friend and mentor. After high school, Roxi attended Iowa State University where she was a member of Alpha Gamma Delta sorority and then attended Grandview University and Drake University where she studied accounting.
Roxi the Wife
Roxi met Dick on a blind date set up by a mutual friend. She was actually the fill-in as his original date was sick. It was meant to be. The first date was rocky as she asked Dick if his 1957 Thunderbird would rust as he dogged rain puddles. Dick was persistent and on the second date things clicked. They soon married on May 5, 1973. For the next 49 years they worked as a team, raising kids, and running their business. When either one was traveling,they would be sure to have a nightly check up to see how each other was doing, get the latest news about the business and how the kids, and later the dogs, were doing. She was the yin to his yang. Their love for each other never faltered. In their later years, their complementary abilities allowed them to maintain their independence.
Roxi the Business Leader
When Dick started the business in the mid -1970s, she initially filled the role of accountant while working to finish up her college degree. Shortly after Dick’s 40th birthday, he suffered a stroke, and although he fully recovered, his doctor felt the stress of being on the road and also running operations was partially to blame. The couple decided Roxi would take over the day-to-day operations of the company, becoming CEO, while Dick focused on sales. Over the next 30 years Roxi, Dick and their business partner,Mike Hatten,grew and ran the business. Organization, planning, and an ability to see the “big picture” allowed her to adjust the business focus as markets changed over the next three decades. People on the shop floor called her the “The Dragon Lady” as she was fair but firm. Her children and husband made sure this nickname stuck around even after the company was sold.
Roxi was also involved in organizations outside of the business as either a member or serving on several boards over the years. She was a member of Young Presidents Organization (YPO), one of only a few women in Iowa at the time and a handful across the country. She was a member of the Manufacturing Extension Partnership in Iowa and on the national advisory board, a member of Iowa Association of Business and Industry, International Traders of Iowa, Rotary International, Alpha Gamma Delta Sorority Big Sisters program, as well as a board member of the Boys and Girls Club of Iowa. Being a female business leader in those days was not always easy, but she worked to pave a better way for the women who followed her. She was always open to helping others achieve their goals in business and otherwise.
Roxi the Mother and Grandmother
Roxi gained not only a husband when she married Dick but a daughter as well. Lisa was four when Roxi and Dick married. Roxi quickly took to motherly duties, adopting Lisa in 1976, leading Lisa’s Blue Bird troop, and helping with school and extracurricular activities. In 1974, their son Troy was born. Roxi took on the Den Leader role while her son was in Cub Scouts and was there to cheer him on for basketball and track. When you were out of line, she let you know, you had to learn to listen to the message and not the words. She was there when you needed a hug, advice, or popcorn money.
She loved being a grandmother and following her grandchildren’s achievements, events, and milestones. Christmastime was always a big deal for her. She loved shopping for others and her grandchildren were no exception. When you shared your children’s wish list with her, don’t plan on buying anything on there as she will beat you to it. American Girl Dolls, Calico Critters, Barbies, books, toy cars and Star Wars were all covered. Your kid wants a lightsaber…. well they’re getting all the lightsabers….. Thanks Mom, now our living room is a battle zone. She loved it when her grandchildren and their friends came to the lake to visit and play. She was an excellent hostess and made sure everyone had fun and got some fresh Boji duds before they left. Much to our amazement, she became a women’s basketball fan and couldn’t wait to cheer on the next Iowa Hawkeye or Fever basketball game.
Knowing Roxi
Roxi had a strong will, dry sense of humor, and a can-do attitude. She could be fierce, hence the nickname “Dragon Lady”, but was also very sentimental and loving. She would quietly figure out how to make our dreams become reality through the use of spreadsheets and tough conversations. A voracious reader up until the end, she read everything from the Wall Street Journal to mysteries and pulpy fiction she called “smut” with a twinkle in her eye. She loved boating and riding WaveRunners at Okoboji. Out her window she would enjoy the lake over all four seasons, keeping an eye on boaters, critters, and ice fishers alike. She was not one to turn down a trip to the casino for a little “Ching-Ching” on the slots or the latest Vegas show. Her husband would know when she had a good night as she would give him some of her winnings for car parts. She was fairly private about her health but wanted to know how you were doing and if anything was off was on you until it got fixed. She stood up to bullies even while battling breast cancer. She was not one to start a fight but she sure as well would stand her ground if you picked on her or someone she cared about.
She was preceded in death by her husband and true soulmate of nearly 50 years, Dick R. Downing; her mother, Doris; father, Eldon; step-father, Richard; her in-laws, Basil B. and Ruth L. (Townsend) Downing; her brother, Mike Staker and his wife Starr, and other cherished family and friends. We’re sure their reunion was joyous!
Roxi is survived by her daughter, Lisa Downing Lanier, her husband, Parker, and their children, Jay Stahl, Mara Stahl (James Brueckel), and Andy Lanier (Denise); as well as son, Troy, his wife, Kathryn and their children, Tobias Downing and Ruby Downing. She is further survived by her siblings and their spouses. Hat tip to dear friends, Sue Erickson Rains, Janet “Snooki” Parks, and Vicky Albertson.
Thank you to St. Croix Hospice and the care team of northwest Iowa and southern Minnesota. Mom had a village of dedicated women who helped her stay at home “no matter what”. To Sue Peterson, Danie Bowman, Jena Heard, Emmaly Marcum, Brea Norem, Heather Willison, Moni Hurd, Sarah Page, and Abbie Verrips, we cannot fully express our gratitude for making sure Mom lived her last years in comfort and with dignity. We also thank members of the Dickinson and Clay County community who helped our parents over the last decade. It’s always nice to know, even if you are hours away from your parents, that there are people close by them who are willing to lend a hand.
Visitation will be held from 5pm-7pm Friday, December 13, 2024, at Hamilton’s on Westown Parkway, 3601 Westown Parkway in West Des Moines, Iowa. Funeral services will take place at the same location on Saturday, December 14th, at 10 am. She’ll be laid to rest with Dick at Glendale Cemetery in Des Moines. Memorial contributions may be made to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, 262 Danny Thomas Place Memphis, TN 38105 or the charity of your choice.
